Could Have
by Aphina
Summary: A series of Tim/Kate one shots of all the things that could have happened if Finding Kate hadn't ended.
1. Chapter 1: Back Again

Chapter One: Back Again

**_Welcome to the FK one shots. This story is all the little storylines that Could Have happened had Kate not died. I hope you enjoy them._**

**_This is set after Lost Son, possibley a year. Tim had 'died'. The reference Kate makes to the beach is when Kate was not coping well with his death. She go drunk and wen to the beach with her gun. Thankfully Delko found her, Kate had passed out from the booze gun in hand._**

**_Kate's also infurated because she suddenly realizes what has happened. Tim had betrayed her in the same way she betrayed him in the beginning. This storyline had far to go. It was going to be about Tim wooing Kate and her tryin to fight off her feelings and in the end realizng it didn't matter what he'd done. There will probably be more to come on this storyline. SO stay tuned._**

The sun was shining down on us, its warming touch bathing my skin as I stared straight ahead unable to think, feel or even speak. I was dreaming, I had to be. My mind was playing cruel tricks on me.

He was standing there, one hand in his jeans pocket. The sun highlighting the lighter browns in his ebony hair and casting his five o'clock shadow just right. He was broader now, more muscular. The black and white striped shirt clung to his firm muscle tone reminding me of everything I'd been missing over the past three years and more. His chocolate coloured eyes were studying me profusely, with a longing I hadn't seen in a long time.

I had gone insane. I was seeing the impossible.

All those extra hours I'd been doing, taking care of Daniel and then the UC on the side had broken my mind, because I was seeing the dead and this could not be real.

My hand was clasped to my mouth and there was lump in my throat at the emotions aching in my chest.

I'd watched his casket lowered into the ground. His degrading body was six feet under and had been for over two years now.

"Is this a dream?" the words slipped from my lips, I hadn't even thought them, they had simply appeared.

I'd had this dream before under so many different situations and settings, and I always woke up alone in bed, my hand straying to his pillow, always surprised to find it cold and the bed empty.

"This isn't a dream Kate." His voice still sounded the same, deep and rich.

This had to be a dream but my mind had started working again, it was rationalising and putting the pieces together like a jigsaw and the picture that appeared wasn't pretty. I could taste the bitterness in the back of my throat.

What he'd done to me, what he'd done to his own son.

I could see it all now, from the closed casket to Daniel's pleas that he could still see his father sometimes in the night.

Tim was stepping towards me, his hand out imploring.

I had played this moment over and over in my head, and it always ended the same. I ran into his arms and held onto him for dear life. We'd kiss and make up, and I wouldn't care where he'd been or what he'd done, just that he was alive and that was all that mattered.

Immense rage was running through my body and I couldn't control it, because my grief was still raw. That night on the beach was still in my mind and I hated him for driving me to it.

He'd almost left his child an orphan that night and he didn't even know it.

My jaw was tightening and I could feel the fury that was running through my veins taking over. We needed to talk and there were so many things to say but I couldn't not right now, because I was scared if I took that step towards him right now, I might actually murder him myself.

So instead I did the one thing I'd never dreamed of doing. I turned my back on him and I walked away.


	2. Chapter 2: Spontanious

Chapter Two: Spontanious

**_Just a little bit of light fluff between two adults. (Rated M)_**

It was half seven in the morning and for some reason he was awake and alert. His shift didn't start for over four hours but here he was in the kitchen, dressed in a charcoal, baggy, long sleeved, teeshirt and sweats making coffee for Kate. Not that cheap instant stuff she used either, today he was actually using her coffee machine, a device he both feared and hated since it had scalded him one too many times.

The alarm clock was chirping the bedroom as he entered, coffee in one hand, flower he'd picked from the garden in the other. His palm smacked the sleep button as he put the coffee on Kate's night stand. Kate shuffled under the sheets, her arm going under the pillow as she turned on her side.

"I brought your coffee." he said in his deep, sleep fogged voice, before bending over, his lips brushing her forehead.

"Hm." Kate responded, burrowing even deeper into the covers.

She was grumpy first thing in the morning. Grumpy and immobile. Tim moved around to the bottom of the bed and climbed on board. His arm wrapped around Kate's waist as he drew her and the covers up against him. His head propped up on one hand before he used the flower on her. He let it glide up the length of her bare arm. His head bent to kiss her neck, his lips brushing all those sensitive spots as the petals danced up her naked skin and across her shoulder, then along the strap of her sky blue strap top.

"Mm, what is that?" Kate mumbled as Tim's teeth grazed the sensitive spot behind her ear, causing her to shiver.

"It is a flower I picked for you." he murmured as she rolled onto her back.

Her hands were palm up on the pillow, her hair splayed out across he cool material. Her top rode up exposing her smooth stomach, the flannel pajama pants were riding low on her hips. Tim used the delicate petals to doodle a pattern on her stomach. Kate wriggled, biting her lip for a second, her face turned away into the pillow as he teased along the pants line.

"You like that." he whispered into her ear.

His words sent a shudder running through her, his proximity and body heat was giving her dirty, sexy thoughts. Kate nodded with an encouraging moan. Tim discarded the flower off the side of the bed before using his fingers to walk across her stomach until he got to the tie at the front of the pajamas. He pulled the drawstring lightly until the knot came undone.

"I wanna make up for last night." he muttered, his palm slipping underneath her bottoms.

His hot mouth descended on her stomach. His tongue flicked around the circle of her belly button before he moved in between her legs. Kate could feel herself getting wet already. His mouth was always promising, and she was always wanting. She was desperate and crazy for him.

Heat rushed through her as his tongue flicked the sensitive space between her pants line and her naked pubic area., her head tipped back into the pillow stifling her noise, as he began to slide her pajama bottoms down her legs.

"But you did't do anything last night." she reminded him, lifting up her ass so he could take the pajama bottoms off entirely.

"That is entirely my point." he informed her.

Tim's hands ran up her thighs, his fingers came to rest on the inner areas, his thumb traced the outline of her clit, making her back arch and her body quiver. He could already feel her slickness as he let his tongue taste her. He's always loved the taste of her, that and her scent.

He used his tongue to flick over her swollen nub. Kate bit the material of the pillow trying to stifle her groan as Tim sucked her clit, her hands raked the sheets as his tongue licked all the way up it.

"Oh God." she moaned, feeling herself beginning to come undone under his skillful hands.

Tim's mouth slid down, his tongue pressing against her glistening core with expert finesse. His fingers grazed her wet center as his tongue teased her clit. He slipped his finger inside her, her hips bucked against his mouth as he inserted a second finger. Her body responded to his rhythm, her moans were a symphony to his ears as he brought her to climax. He felt her tighten around his fingers at the same time her hips arched, and she cried out his name.

Tim's teeth lightly grazed her clit and suddenly she cumming. The explosion of pleasure rocked her body, it jerked and spasmed against his mouth, she uttered the words "fuck Tim." out loud as she gasped in exertion. A warm contentment flooding through her.

Tim reclaimed his fingers, and shifted onto his side of the bed, his hand sliding up her slick body as she panted. His lips were on her neck again, gentle and nuzzling. Her face still half buried in the pillow to stifle her noise, her hair sticking up in all directions.

"I don't think I can move." she muttered, as his hand stroked her stomach.

"You don't have to." he told her, stripping off his shirt and tossing it off the bed.

Kate's eyes brightened as she twisted her head towards him as he climbed off the bed and wriggled out of his sweatpants. His impressive erection was on display, she licked her lips and watched him shiver as she crawled on all fours across the bed towards him.

"Shower?" he questioned, eyebrows raising, mischievous expression taking over his features.

Kate nodded, suddenly whooping as Tim scooped her up and carried her into their shared bathroom.

She'd forgotten how spontaneous Tim Speedle really was.


	3. Chapter 3: Stalkerazzi

Chapter Three: Stalkerazzi

_**If they'd made it to this ep, this is basically what would have happened...**_

The tree was too tall. She had known that Tim had offered a boost up it, yet she still had climbed it. It was important for them to figure out what the dead guy had been photographing before he'd been chased off. Of course as it turned out Tim happened to be allergic to this type of tree, or at least that was the excuse he was using.

Kate braced herself against the branches of the tree, before looking down again, and shutting her eyes tightly. She did not like heights and the ground from here looked a long way down.

"What?" Speedle called up. "You can take down mobsters but you can't jump out of a tree?"

Kate tilted her head downwards trying to judge the distance between the ground and the tree. Tim was standing underneath it, his hands on his hips looking up at her.

"It's a long way." she said, her voice wavering a little bit.

"It's not that far." Speed said exasperated. "Here I'll catch you."

Tim held his arms up to her, with her legs dangling form the tree, her boot just brushed his fingertips. Sirens erupted behind them, Kate twisted in her position to see the Sheriff of this ridiculous little county stepping out of his squad car. His face was red and irate as he caught sight of her in the tree, Speed and the Hummer along side it.

"Great." Kate muttered, rolling her eyes. "It's Rent-A-Cop."

"I caught your call out over the radio. Miss, I need you to get out the tree, you trespassing on private property." The sheriff declared.

"I will if you just give me a minute." Kate informed him, staring at the ground again and taking a deep breath.

"I mean now Miss, otherwise I'll be forced to arrest you." the Sheriff called up.

"You'll have to come up and get me." she snarked, slipping her leg off the branch she was resting on, and then pulling it back up.

"Will you just leave her alone for five minutes?" Tim snapped, holding his arms out towards Kate.

"I demand you get out of that tree this instant." The sheriff flustered, his cheeks red in agitation.

"You want me out of this tree so badly, get your freaking car lined up with it so I can jump on the hood." Kate snarled.

"Miss, do not be a smartass." The sheriff growled.

"Don't be such a idiot then and I won't be a smartass." Kate responded, pulling a face at Tim.

Tim gave her a pointed look before gesturing with his outstretched hands.

"Kate, just get out the damn tree." Tim demanded.

Kate took a huge deep breath before meeting Tim's eyes.

"You promise, you won't drop me." Kate pleaded.

Tim's tone changed, his expression one of utmost sincerity.

"I promise Kate, I won't drop you."

His arms were reaching out for her. Kate shuffled to the edge of the branch she was sitting on and closed her eyes.

She jumped. Tim caught her easily, his hand resting on her hips as he lifted her the rest of the way down. They're faces were close together, their bodies molded against each other.

"See that wasn't so bad." Tim whispered, looking into her eyes.

Kate hugged his shoulders close, his hands resting on the small of her back before the two of them drew away from each other.

"Your supervisor know about the two of you?" the sheriff asked, looking between the two of them.

Tim was already moving towards the driver's seat of the Hummer cosing to ignore t insignificant little man who was talking at them. Kate opened the passenger side door.

"Call him and find out." Kate smirked before climbing inside th Hummer and driving off into the sunset.


	4. Chapter 4: Cold Case

* * *

Chapter Four

_**This was an alternative storyline to Lost Son, based on a Hagen storyline I was going to run. After Speed "dies" Hagen was going to attack Kate, and the end result was going to be Hagen's death. Kate would not have been able to cope wih being in Miami after Speed's demise and Hagen's attack so she moved to Philly, and joined Cold Case. Daniel ended up in Syracuse with Tim's parents.**_

_**There was always going to be a Cold Case crossover, only it was going to be over Tim's friend Marty, and his not so accidental snow mobile death. **_

_**This is Kate's response to Speed's return.**_

The box in my hands was another old one, back from the nineties. Not the oldest we'd pulled lately but certainly not the most recent. I'd landed a transfer at the last mine from Miami CSI to Philadelphia's Homicide department. I'd gone in as a Detective but had ended up in their Cold Case department working with Lilly Rush and her team. The last two years had been tough on me, in ways I could never have imagined. I'd been bumping from one bad thing to another. Leaving Miami and getting a fresh start and been painful especially when I'd made the stop over in, New York, that was the worst part of it, leaving him there. I knew he was in good hands but the hurt still weighted heavy in my chest.

It was Winter again, a month away from Christmas and I already had all of his gifts bought and wrapped. It didn't make up for abandoning him, but it might ease it just a little when the season came around. I'd already booked a week and a half off to go and spend the Holidays with him. Christmas Eve through to New Year before I was back again.

The achieves were located in the basement. There were huge metal shelves coveting immense amounts of white boxes, sporting names, dates and current status. The shelves were sorted into sections, basically grouped by the nature of the crime. The shelves were bulging every day with more and more cases, and we just kept taking them off and going through them in a hope that we could give a victim's loved ones some peace.

I could see my breath in front of my face as we strode down the long, straight corridor towards the elevator that would lead us back to the Homicide pit. It was always cold down here; there was always a chill in the air even on the warmest of days.

The box was heavy, not one of the heaviest I'd lifted but its weight certainly surprised me. The problem with cold cases is the fact you usually find there's a lack of evidence or files when it comes to a case. This one seemed to have abundance.

Lilly was walking along side me, her eyes on the case summary as she flicked through the essentials. My fingers rapped out a tune on the white cardboard before the elevator dinged Homicide and we both stepped into the pit.

Lilly Rush was one of the most best cops I'd ever had the fortune of meeting. She was 5'7, with icy blond hair she usually kept tied back, and the most piercing eyes I'd ever seen. She was devious, deceitful and tough and that was just to the suspects. Out side the interrogation rooms she was compassionate and private. I liked that in her, she didn't push me and I sure as hell didn't push her. Things were too raw for me to talk about, which was why I spent an indecent amount of time in work. Always made that six pm break though.

I noticed the guy in the long navy blue coat straight away as we got into the pit. He was in the visitor's area, facing away from me, his head tilted towards the wanted posters as he scanned them with interest. The snow was still melting in his curly, dark locks, and the grey scarf was wrapped around his neck tightly before being flung over his shoulder.

I cleared my throat and turned my head away as we weaved through the other workstations making it to Vera's desk with the box. Vera was a heavy set Caucasian male with a boisterous humour and an attitude that showed he'd been on the streets a long time. His brown hair was spiked up into a fashionable style, giving the impression that he was caught between the old and the new. It didn't matter he still made me smile.

At the current moment he was tapping his pen impatiently on the desk, his eyes never leaving the guy loitering in the visitor's area.

"Kate, someone here to see ya." He jabbed his pen in the guy's general direction, looking suspicious.

I turned to face the man at the same time as he did. Our eyes met emerald on chocolate. I was back there two years ago, saying good bye to him that morning, locked in the most ferocious kiss of our lives. Hands roaming everywhere and the passion between us sizzling before he stepped away and said "goodbye Kate." I didn't realize what it really meant was goodbye, period.

The box slipped from my hands, it struck the ground suddenly breaking the moment with a dull thud. I blinked, my fingers pressing to my mouth as I close my eyes and reopened them again. He was still standing there, his face solemn, wrapped up for Philadelphia weather as he stared back. Lilly's hand clasped my shoulder reassuringly, her soft voice bringing me right back out of my shock and into more logical thoughts.

"Kate?" she questioned.

"You see that guy right?" I asked her, unable to take my eyes off the familiar stubble that lined his cheeks.

"Clear as day." She replied gently.

My hand slipped down from my lips, and came to rest with my palm on my heart. There was only so many times it could break and of everything in the last two years, this was the one that hurt the most, because this, this was betrayal. This was him, almost destroying me all over again, because now I finally understood. The breath left my body as the impact if that hit me. There was pain, so much pain bubbling and rushing under my skin. My heart was in agony again. My eyes were burning with tears I refused to shed.

"Lil, do me favour and tell him to leave. I can't…" I wheezed for a second trying to regain control of myself. "Tell him Daniel's with his parents in Syracuse."

"Anything else?" she queried.

I shook my head unable to speak, before turning on my heel and disappearing into the vacant Lieutenant's office.

* * *

The curly haired guy was still staring after Kate as Lilly approached him. The blinds were drawn in the office so nether of them could catch a glimpse, besides her silhouette as she hunched over the desk. Vera had rescued the box from where it had lay on the floor and it was now sitting upon his desk waiting to be opened. Vera had disappeared, probably to the coffee machine, to bring back some tea for Kate. The older man was fond of the younger woman and had been ever since he'd taken her under his wing to show her the ropes. The jump from CSI to Homicide Detective was hard for her but she got through it, the two were close.

To be honest Lilly didn't know anything about Kate's personal life, and Kate didn't know anything about hers. It was just the way the two of them were, they talked about the present and the past only came into consideration when they were talking about cases. There were things though that Lilly noticed. Like how Kate always disappeared for half an hour around Six pm. No matter where they were or what they were doing, Kate would snatch up her cell phone and say she needed a break and disappear. Lilly was all for private time, she knew amongst all the others in Homicide, that they worked far too much to have any life out side of the job. But the phone calls intrigued Lilly. Just like the tall dark haired man in front of her did.

Kate didn't mention any men in her life, as far as Lilly knew she lived alone in an apartment in the upper side of town with her cat Stormy.

She stuck her hand out as she reached the mystery man and introduced herself.

"Hi, I'm Detective Rush."

He took her hand, shaking it firmly before he spoke.

"Tim Speedle." He paused for a second before glancing at the closed office door.

"She doesn't want to see me does she?"

"I'm afraid not." Lilly grimaced pulling her hand way.

Speedle pursed his lips together, nodding before he raised doe brown eyes up to meet Lilly's.

"Tell her I'll be waiting outside, so when she's ready she can come down and talk. Tell her…" he hesitated, his eyes moving back to the silhouette in the office. "Tell her I know about Daniel and it wasn't her fault, I don't blame her."

With that he turned on his heel and walked towards the elevator hitting the button to call it. Lilly watched him, her arms crossed over her chest as he straightened his back, his posture determined.

She felt sorry for him, by the look of things he was going to be waiting a very long time.

* * *

He'd been standing outside for over two hours now, and she still hadn't come down to see him. He'd been counting the minutes to keep the memories at bay as well as a distraction from the cold. There were too many things to say, to apologize for, to regret.

It was still snowing; it hadn't stopped since he'd reached Philadelphia. He hadn't seen so much snow since he was a kid. Miami didn't have snow and that was one of the reasons he liked it there. It never got as cold like this, his fingers were numb inside his gloves, his scarf was wrapped around the lower portion of his face covering his nose in attempt to shield his face from the icy weather.

He was freezing, very slowly and surely, despite the fact he was stamping his feet for warmth like a beat cop, he knew he was freezing. He also knew he deserved it, and this was nothing compared to what she was up there feeling right now, or anything she'd been through over the past two years.

The door at the front of the building open and his head twisted suddenly towards it, his eyes wide and his heart hopeful. He wasn't surprised to see it wasn't Kate, but he as surprised to find the blond Detective, Rush, he remembered, hurrying down the steps towards him clutching to mugs of steaming coffee in two hands.

"I bet you've been doing that a lot in the past few hours." She said almost sympathetically as she handed him the mug of coffee.

She was bundled up in a long winter coat, a grey scarf hanging around her shoulders as she walked.

"Yea." He muttered before taking a sip of the hot liquid.

It burnt his wind pipe as it went down, before settling in his belly and warming up his lower body.

"You think maybe it's time to call it quits, and go home?" she asked him, taking a gulp of her own coffee as she stood apart from him.

Speedle shook his head.

"Not yet."

"It's your funeral." Lilly shrugged. "But I think it's only fair to warn you, she doesn't plan on coming down until your gone, and since she's technically off the clock it doesn't hinder our investigation."

"Give it another hour or so and she'll come down to scream at me, I know it's pissing her off me being here." He told her, unembarrassed.

Lilly kicked at a heap of snow piled on the ground before looking up at him.

"What did you do?" she asked quietly.

She was over stepping a boundary here, Kate's boundaries but she was curious and Kate was doing herself no favours. Tim chuckled a little, as he bowed his head before he met Lilly's gaze to watch her reaction.

"I pretended I was dead for two years while I went into a witness protection programme, today's the first time she's laid her eyes on me since before I 'died'."

Lilly merely stared at him for a second absorbing the knowledge before taking a swig of coffee and cocking her head to the left.

"Whose Daniel?" she said suddenly.

Tim hesitated before staring into the dark pools of coffee.

"He's our… Biologically he's my son, but Kate… He was Kate's son too. He should have been mine and Kate's."

"How come he's in Syracuse? And not here?" she asked curious.

"Kate…There was an incident." He ran a hand through his hair, shaking the snow from it as he looked away. "It's complicated."

Lilly nodded, before giving him a sympathetic smile.

"You know you can wait in the reception area right, with heat, chairs and a magazine." She offered.

"No thanks."

Tim tilted his head back up towards the office window as he sipped his coffee, the light was still on. Kate was still working.

Lilly strode up the steps, before glancing over her shoulder at the lone man standing in the snow.

Tim Speedle was a glutton for punishment alright.

* * *

Lilly was leaning against the window sill as she flicked the blinds open slightly to peer out of the window. Speedle was still standing outside, Lilly watched him stamp his feet, before blowing hot hair into his hands. She shook her head. It had been over three hours now and she was pretty sure that soon enough he was going to catch hypothermia.

"You think maybe you two should talk, he's been out there three hours, and I'm pretty sure he has frost bite." Lilly mentioned, grimacing as she withdrew from the blinds.

"It's his own fault, if you stop looking out the window he may just go away." I sniped, reading through the witness statements and trying to piece together the information in my head.

"Don't tell me it's not distracting you, you've been reading the same piece of paper for the past hour." Lilly pointed out.

I set the statement down in the table before raising my eyes to her irate.

"It is a little. But if I go downstairs, I'm giving him what he wants and I… I'm just not ready."

Lilly let out a small sigh, I heard it under her breath as I shuffled the papers around the desk.

"Look, I'm pretty sure he's not going away until you talk to him. So how about you give up an hour of your time, take him to the diner and have little talk. I think that's all he wants, just to talk." Lilly said softly.

"You don't get it, what he did…I did once too. Along time ago I disappeared on him and he made me promise…" I hesitated, my finger playing with the pen Vera had left behind.

"We had a family, unconventional, but I love his son as if he were my own and Tim… Tim left him. Tim left me and Daniel in Miami alone, thinking he was dead. A lot happened when he was gone. A lot of bad things, things I think if he'd been there might not have happened." I twisted the pen beneath my fingers, feeling the anger quell beneath my skin.

So much hurt and so much anger, I'd held on to it for over a year now, ever since that night, and now it had direction.

"Don't you think he needs to know that? I think it would be good for you to get it off your chest. Kind of like a confession." Lilly told me, with a bright smile.

"You really think he'll go away?" I asked her in a small voice.

"I think the two of you need to talk, even if it's just for peace of mind." Lilly said softly.

I rose to my feet, my fingers brushing my coat and scarf as I clasped the back of my seat.

"You sure you don't need me for this case?" I asked, looking for a reason, any reason to stay.

"You've already clocked up enough overtime as it. We can spare you an hour or two." She said climbing into my seat and putting her feet up on the desk as she picked up the witness statement.

I was shrugging on my coat and winding the scarf around my neck. There was something stirring in the pit of my stomach, I was unnerved and weary. Why had he come back now? What had he been doing?

I took a deep breath to steel myself before stepping out of the office. There was only one person who could answer those questions, and he was standing right outside the station house, waiting.

I exhaled before pushing the hair from my face and hitting the call button for the elevator. I guess there was only one way to find out.


End file.
